the pLeAsUrEs and pAiNs of work

So work today was meh. I didn't get out of there until 3:30pm which is a long day at work for me. I shouldn't complain though because more hours means more money for me :)
The best part of today: Being asked out by a fellow co-worker who I have been eyeballing ever since the first day of work. He told me he wanted to take me to dinner tonight
The worst part of today: When I told him I had plans and couldn't go to dinner with him. What makes it worse is that I lied....I have NO plans for tonight and will more than likely be in my room all day either watching TV or sleeping. So why did I tell him I had plans? Because I am tErRiFiEd of anything that possesses a penis! I'm terrified of awkward silence and anything sexual that may come along. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to jump this boy and ravage him (maybe I could finally use my handcuffs and whips...j/k) but I am too scared to even be with him. Maybe it's because I don't trust myself when I'm with him...or maybe it's the fact that I can't understand why he would even want to be with me. And I know I will regret it b/c he is sooooo sweet and hot hot hot, but I can't seem to force myself to hangout with him. It's not like he proposed marriage or will force me to sleep with him, but I'm still scared. I have one perfect word to explain what I am right now....ready for this....completely and utterly PaThEtIc!

I just need to be alone right now...maybe I'll nap....who knows....who cares.....